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Being unemployed gives you time to think. It is a rare opportunity to reflect on who you are, and who you plan to become. Financial difficulty is a life defining experience when faced with homelessness. I have a belief that everything happens for a reason. Having a chance to live outside of and observe a system we strive to be a part of, which will eventually destroy us gives life a new perspective. At times deep in thought I remind myself that the test of success is graded in your ability to face failure. As a young man aspiring to be a rapper I often wrote of my fear of failure, and my desire to succeed. It wasn't until age 30 on a windy October day that I embraced the idea; stagnation is like dying, all successes in life, love, and finance involve risk and accountability for your actions. The fear of failure is the same as the fear of success.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Room to Die

I only told you that
So I could fuck you
My words and your body
Twisted into forged signatures
On matrimonys matress

Your voice soft as vanilla vapor
Screaming inaudible ecstasy
As outstretched arms embrace
Outrage doused anger
A vicious vengeance

I would rape and pillage
Every happy place you ever had
You don't deserve them
You became the sad love song
Of Toni Braxton's bullets

Kissing the temple of my soul
I had fallen in love with the future
And the you that I knew
Right now is tight grip
And short breath
From being everything I need

I will love you
Until you are blue in the face
Ice queen your arctic heart
Will never know the warmth of my touch
It is reserved for waste
Better off that way
Like hands meant to hold you
Cut them off I can't use them
Better off that way

You are wasted space on unlined paper
Far too unruly to deserve my pen
But you hold my attention
You possess the kung fu grip from hell
Make my heart explode

Kill Bill 2 Kiddo
Love will make you do some strange things
You are such a sadist
You’ve made me masked masochist
My heart is on my sleeve
You tore it from my chest

We wrote this contact in my blood
I was only trying to fuck you
When the means can’t justify your end
There is only room to die
We are dead men walking
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