Welcome

Being unemployed gives you time to think. It is a rare opportunity to reflect on who you are, and who you plan to become. Financial difficulty is a life defining experience when faced with homelessness. I have a belief that everything happens for a reason. Having a chance to live outside of and observe a system we strive to be a part of, which will eventually destroy us gives life a new perspective. At times deep in thought I remind myself that the test of success is graded in your ability to face failure. As a young man aspiring to be a rapper I often wrote of my fear of failure, and my desire to succeed. It wasn't until age 30 on a windy October day that I embraced the idea; stagnation is like dying, all successes in life, love, and finance involve risk and accountability for your actions. The fear of failure is the same as the fear of success.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Progress

What is the cost you are willing to pay for progress? How do you balance the scales of life, answer between time and living?

Material things make the world go round make no mistake of that. If most of us decided to eat on good deeds we've done for others, most of us would die of starvation. Charity has become big business, sacrifice only occurs for the benefit of the ego, and we don't have the time to worry over anything but the here and now. I could be wrong however, perhaps these are just the words of a cynic.

What kind of life are we living? If we took time to truly see ourselves as we are and not what we want to be what would we see? What have you done for the sake of progress and what are you willing to do? We are all Anakin in Revenge of the Sith love and ambition will drive us to error as we are manipulated by some greater power.

To this end I have made mistakes. I have lost more friends than I have gained, offended more than I ingratiated, and abandoned more than I rescued. Looking in the mirror, I seem to have forgotten bridges burn faster than they can be built. I am alone but progress may prove to be another form of attrition. Have you ever watched a comrade die while standing next to you?

This year I've accomplished 75% of my goals, 25% of my goals are shared with others. I am not the same man I was a week before my 31st birthday. I am no longer the man I was at New Years, or March 22nd when my grand mother passed. I am not the same man I was yesterday. Friendships are like clothes, sometimes you outgrow them.

No matter how much you loved that shirt or pair of jeans, they just don't fit you anymore. Sadly when I looked in the mirror this morning I realized I am still in puberty. What did you see in your mirror?
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousNovember 27, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Oh I think youre wrong.The puberty was just a shadow that remained when the adult figure out grew it..thats what gives you hope..maintains perspective..hold on to it.Its as much a part of you as a fingernail..it grows..it tangles it scratches but still a part of you.When I looked in it I saw those who may have left this dimension,but who never leave my side of my soul..and with regret come renewed hope.Tomorrow is STILL another day."an Old Man"

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